Tests, Exams But No Spring Break??

When one has cancer, there are a multitude of tests to endure. These tests involve drinking strange liquids and having strange liquids pumped into your veins. Needless to say I’m not one for needles or strange substances that don’t taste delicious. Make that drink into a New York egg cream and I’m all yours.

CT scans. Bone scans. Blood tests. I was radioactive. I even had a little card that could get me through the metal detector at work being that I had nuclear fluids coursing through my delicate veins.

To make matters easier on my overworked veins I had a port installed below my collarbone. I named her Irma. It’s terribly convenient. My arms were beginning to look like modern art in purple, yellow and grey.

I didn’t know what a port was. It’s not something I would have seen before. So my doctor Googled port so I could get a visual. Of course when you Google port images, you come up with ships and sailors. Oops. Wrong port. But if sailors come with it….

We finally found the right port and it kind of looks like the Starship Enterprise. OK, cool.

Beam me up Scotty.

The one test that I would rather not repeat again was the dreaded breast MRI. Forty minutes in a squashed state of discomfort. I felt like a mozzarella panino oozing out at the sides. Either that or a Fluff sandwich. I hate Marshmallow Fluff. Breathing was difficult. A root canal is easier.

I’m very blessed to be a patient in a state –of- the- art facility here in the Boston area. All the newest technology is available and it gives me a sense of relief. Cancer is a terrible thing for everyone and anyone. Thank you MGH Danvers.

So, egg cream anyone???

3 down. 5 to go!