Hey, You Look Great!

I may look great, but in actuality I feel like I’ve been trampled by two teams of Clydesdales.

Chemo is funny that way.

I’ve had two sessions of the next chemical and it’s called Taxol. It’s fairly aggressive. It makes me tired, achy and all around blah. My brain says let’s go do stuff but my body says go away I’m in hibernation ‘till this is over.

Unless you’ve been through chemotherapy, it’s difficult to describe the physical presence of the chemicals coursing through my body. And of course every chemo for every person is different.

The sessions of AC were horrific, making me feel seasick 24/7. I could feel little pacmen chomping away at my left boob. That part was cool. The Taxol is a bit more intense. No more feeling like I’m going to barf every five seconds. However, the little pacmen are gone, having been replaced by Mortal Kombat. It kind of takes my breath away.

I finally went back to work a few days a week after being home quite sick for almost two weeks. I still feel pretty lousy, but that’s the way it goes. I’m just waiting for the light at the end of the tunnel and it IS getting closer.

In the meantime I have people saying to me, “Wow you look great. You’re all better, right?” Of course I look great. I spend a fortune in skincare and makeup products. I’m not leaving the house looking like death. That doesn’t work for me. And I’m not all better. “Well just rest and you’ll be better soon.” Nope. Chemotherapy doesn’t work that way. This isn’t a cold. You don’t rest and get better. One day you feel fine and the next day you may feel like pure crap. No amount of R& R is going to work when there is poison coursing through my veins. My immune system is non-existent.

So when people say, “Hey, you look great” I just smile and say thanks. And I inch closer to that faint light at the end of the tunnel.

6 down, 2 to go. Getting closer!